On Being a Housewife!!!

Happy Women’s Day and all that !!!

Out for lunch one day with my friends, one of them ran into an old classmate from her medical school. “Oh, you are not working now!!! You must be enjoying yourself,” the ex-classmate said with a condescending lilt to her tone.

There was a palpable silence at the table as my friend found her voice, “Uh!!!” and responded with something between a nod and a shake of her head. The lady said bye and started walking away. But even before she was beyond earshot everyone at our table burst out laughing. She heard it but walked out seemingly unperturbed.

Only we know that this friend of ours is the most difficult person to pin down for a social commitment. She has her hands full with a thousand chores and obligations at any given point in time. Lunch dates are fixed way in advance and even then get cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. And if she had opted not to stay at home and continued in her medical profession instead, providence would have written a very different story for her by now.

I dedicate this article to women/mothers/grandmothers/daughters-in-law who have chosen to sit at home or quit jobs so that they could run a household, stay with husbands who held transferable jobs, bring up children without external help or look after elderly people who needed to be looked after. They go by the tag of “housewife” or more recently, “home-maker”!!! (Personally, I prefer housewife) Some quit jobs for a while to be with their growing children. Returning to a work environment or even finding a job becomes a daunting process for many of them. But they still try, they still cope with disappointment if things don’t work out the way they expected and some manage to get back onto the bandwagon and survive…and how! Some stay back to cook, clean, run their homes and look after children!!!

I have never worked in my life. I have never had to worry about reaching office on time, didn’t have the advantage of enjoying a rapport with colleagues with whom I’d meet up for coffee or drinks after office hours, didn’t have to put up with a boss who was overpowering or know the thrill of a superior who’d be more of a friend and lastly, I never did collect a pay packet at the end of the month nor have I known the thrill of shopping after that. I’ve never been held back at work because an assignment needed to be wound up or missed the regular train or bus home and then had to wait for half an hour or more till I got another one. And I never considered quitting one job for another because something was not right or because I felt stagnated in the previous one. Don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I didn’t want to. After completing my post-graduation I went to live with my aunt in Chennai just so that I could hunt for a suitable job. Then Destiny intervened and took me elsewhere!

“You are so lucky!!!” is a refrain I’ve heard once too often. “How nice!!! You get to sit at home and enjoy!!!” I couldn’t agree more. I get to watch television, reruns, movies and all. I get to greet the children and husband even as they enter the house after a hard day at school or work. I even manage to form a rapport with the local vegetable vendors and fruit-sellers whose faces light up when they see their regular customer. I can manage an afternoon siesta on most days. I catch up with friends for lunch or shopping or both. I don’t eat my food out of lunch boxes and I am free to pursue my passions and take hobbies to the next level.

Yup! A housewife is a very very lucky person!

My earliest memories are of a group of ladies, my mum included, who cooked meals for the family, kept house, took the children for outings and organized small events where the mothers and children put together little shows and performances. We lived in the Middle-east then and most women managed the household on their own. My mother has completed teacher’s training, had even worked until she got married. She sings beautifully having trained for it and has been commended by none less than Yesudas for her rendition of “Kathakali pathams”.  I’m sure many of the other “Aunties” came from similar backgrounds. But they were a content group of housewives who took pride in how they cooked a superb biriyani, rolled perfect laddoos from freshly fried boondis or the mere fact that their children were ultra-talented or their husbands had just landed a promotion.

The same does not apply to those from my generation. Many have given up cushy jobs after marriage or children happened. Many had no choice. Many did indeed, but decided that the children needed at least one parent around. They are professionals, experts in finance, graduates who passed with honours. It doesn’t upset them that their field of expertise is currently utilized to advise friends and acquaintances or that their skills are being expended on tutoring their school-going children. The fancy cars they are driven around in could have well been theirs and not their husbands had they held onto their jobs when they left them. When they leave a job there is a lot of deliberation, concern and even a little heartbreak.

And though we may seem very happy in our space, let me not fool you into thinking, the housewives’ job or lack of it, does not come without it many downsides. Firstly, everyone presumes a housewife is available 24×7. You set aside whatever else you are doing at the slightest indication. In short, whatever you do is inconsequential if something happens to be of larger import to someone else. Saying which, I do have friends who tell me, “I’m dusting…I’ll call you back when I’m free.” Kudos to such people! They take what they do seriously.

We suffer from what I like to call “Cinderella Syndrome”. When we are out with friends or even shopping for groceries, we look at the watch constantly. We have to be home in time to receive our children, our maidservants and various other people. Yes, we do indeed have an ornate carriage that may transform into an uncouth pumpkin and chauffeurs who turns into fidgety mice at the strike of the alarum. We socialize when others are away at school or work. Plumbers, carpenters, et al expect us to be at home at all times. We have no reason to be away according to them and I’ve had at least one or two state accusatorily, “We waited for half-an-hour” like I had to anticipate their arrival and stay put.

The work we do at home for the family or even the many interests we pursue are never taken seriously!

For reasons I’ve stated above I’ve never worked and I never missed holding a 9-5 job.  Instead when the children were older I took to writing and painting seriously. I dedicate a certain amount of time to both of these activities; have joined online communities of writers, networked with other artists where time and circumstances permitted. Recently someone looked at a painting I’ve done and one which several people and I deem as one of my best work up to date and said, “You did that?  For time pass?”

It was something I wasn’t expecting to hear and though I was disconcerted, the woman (yes, it was indeed a woman) missed my expression. But the next time someone even suggests that much, I shall very politely say : “No, it is not. It has taken me 8 long years to learn the nuances and get here with the help of a teacher. I made the time amidst my many household errands and also some difficult periods of my life to master pencil, water colours and finally oils before I began doing these paintings. And it may not look like the masterpiece you may have seen put up at galleries. But for me this is a precious symbol of my effort, my time and my talent.”

A friend whom we are all very proud of and runs her own boutique mentioned that she has had similar experiences too. That apart from being referred to as a “tailor” by some unthinking soul!

And last but not least, many of us do not have the familial support or conviction that helps us to get ahead in whatever little ventures we’ve taken up. For that I have to thank my family for helping me with their encouragement and the unbridled pride they display in my endeavor. Yes, many women don’t have that either. And they astound me by their will to survive and endure!!!

And as I conclude the tribute I’ve written for my special friends and all other stay-at-home mothers — Remember, we are probably the last of the breed! In another ten years time, you may not find a housewife! Girls these days know their mind and aim at getting what they want. And good for them, I would say!!! It may be the generation of house-husbands. If I am not wrong, it has already started happening! The age of smart and content husbands who will sit at home and run the house and look after the children and cook a mean spaghetti while the wife wears the career pants —

So today I take my hat off to the housewife who dedicatedly runs marathons and trains for it intensely, the homemaker who converted her academic prowess into guidance for lost souls like me and many others, the daughter-in-law who juggles a business with her household chores, all those working women who gave up amazing jobs and high posts to become nurturing mothers and the amazing cook who decided to convert her prowess into a successful business venture, the ex-professional who doesn’t give up trying despite all hindrances and the highly educated woman who remained content just staying at home for many years and finally taking up a job teaching children…you are all amazingly beautiful people!!!

 

Kathakali Pathams — a song sung during the Kathakali performance

Desintation South VI – and then it ends !!!

We’ve reached that point in our journey when we know our holiday is almost done. We are ready to get home but we still have to cover large distances to be there. We pine for the comfort of our own beds, our own washrooms and just being at home. We’ve also had enough of eating out, eating food that is offered and whatever food is on offer.

Our next destination is Bangalore. The roads from here on are supposedly superb. This stretch is a part of the Golden Quadrilateral, an outcome of an ambitious project that makes road travel between several Indian metropolises quicker. From now on we are only using this highway network till we reach Mumbai. The pluses are faster approach accompanied by provision to eat, drink, rest and even tank up the car regularly on the way. The route is straightforward and there is no need for maps or the like. The flip side — vehicular traffic in India is unpredictable. Most of the drivers on the Indian roads are not properly educated on the rules of the road. Truck drivers hog the right side of the road mostly and change lanes without indicating as much. Their callousness and carelessness often lead to fatal road accidents. So the trick is to be alert at all times. [My husband says you should look at the way the person ahead of you is driving and predict his next move]

Trucks and tempos are aplenty on the Indian highways

The colourful temples of Karnataka

The trip to Bangalore remains mostly uneventful. We arrive at Bangalore at 5ish. The breakfast appointment with our friend had ensured that we left Coimbatore city when morning peak-time traffic was on; We arrive at Bangalore in time to face evening traffic rush. And with no GPS to guide us, we are at the mercy of directions given by a few locals, sense of direction and recollections from earlier visits. Once in the city, it takes us another 1 ½ hours to reach our place of halt, the Bangalore Club.

Now we face a new problem. We are told that the city (in fact, the whole country) has received a Bandh Call for the next day ["Bandh" means "closure" --- usually a political party or a group of them call for such Bandhs. This is normally to protest against the ruling Government and it's policies ] . This means we won’t be able to move around much and any shopping, the recreation of the bored tourist, is also impossible. We decide to meet my cousin and her family the same evening. My cousin has been in Bangalore for over twenty years. She is a teacher and the mother of three bright boys. My maternal aunt stays with her too. So for obvious reasons, this is a fun outing because hubby has cousin’s husband to bond with as well. We visit them and sit chatting in their home for a while. Later we move to a Chinese restaurant and finish it off with dessert at another place.

Temples poised atop rocky hills is a common sight in India

A scenic drive towards Bangalore

There is something about Bangalore that I just love [ The other city I like is Chennai and of course, Mumbai is my favourite city in India, maybe the whole wide world ]. Curse the traffic, the pollution, the power cuts if you wish— but the vibes that I’ve experienced off this city has always been very positive. The residents are mostly trendy and cosmopolitan and the city is more or less clean…here I have to add, cleaner than Mumbai or Chennai.

We have nothing much to do the next morning. We cannot step out during the day and there is no place to go as the city is virtually “shut”. The people of this city will enjoy a mid-week break and we’ll have to  remain in the Club. The morning hence is chilled-out.

After breakfast we were heading towards the room across the parking lot when hubby realized that the car had a puncture. This was not good news considering the fact that our plans to set out early before the notorious Bangalore traffic plied the roads was not happening in that case. We comfort ourselves with the thought that we can afford to reach home a day later although we would still like to get back as planned. There is not much I can tell you about our day either. The boys try to hire bicycles and are told that only club members are allowed to do that. So they resort to the next best option which is watching television. I read a book.  Hubby is already back to work all thanks to the internet and a notebook computer. By evening, my brother-in-law calls.

“All well?” he asks.

“Not so well,” hubby tells him. We will have to delay our return because of a punctured tire.

Believe in destiny and you will also know why some people either arrive or call in time to help during a moment of crisis…in this case it’s a minor one. My brother-in-law has contacts that may be able to help. Within hours hubby speaks to someone, they send their chauffeur who takes him along with the car to a workshop which is open despite the Bandh. It’s early evening by then and the day is still young. So once hubby comes back with the puncture fixed and our plan for the next day back on schedule, we wonder whether to go for a drive or just walk around a bit. We really need to stretch our legs, so walk it will be. We take a circuitous route, walking without any clear destination in mind. We see a few mean machines, namely a Bentley, a Lexus and a Porsche zooming by on the empty roads – men, and maybe women, with fancy cars taking advantage of the wide empty roads. We are basically looking for an outlet of a popular burger joint since the children by now are pining for it. After a few wrong turns and confusion, we convince them that we should just settle for the very nice looking place very close to the Club. We retrace our steps and arrive at JavaCity. The place that was quite empty when we started our walk is now buzzing with activity. The evening ends on that delightful note. We return to the Club, pack and are now ready for the last leg of our journey.

A placid lake

The Monsoon clouds are far away … but Pre-Mpnsoon showers are quite common

1^st June and we are on the road, a day and a half away from Mumbai. We pull out our music collection and resume bickering over which songs to play. Unlike while starting our journey, we do make regular food halts. Our intended destination for that day is either Belgaum or Kolhapur. Somewhere deep inside my head, I remember a cheerful face. I curb my urge to talk about him though.

Where could it have happened, I wonder.

About two years before we made this trip, we had visited Goa by road. On the road, at the same time as us, were friends of ours — a couple who were traveling alone. Their destination however was way beyond ours. During the first part of the journey we would be traveling down the same highway. So let’s meet for breakfast off Pune, the men decided. By the time we got ready that morning and left, it was late and hubby called up the friend to suggest that they carry on with their breakfast plan and not wait for us as we were getting delayed. Somewhere close to our turn off for Goa, we saw a car that looked like that of our friends’.

“That’s them,” said hubby.

I called the wife on the cell phone and confirmed it. We waved out to each other before he went ahead.  A few weeks later, we were back in Mumbai and another friend called to tell us that on their way back, our friends’ car was involved in an accident with a truck . Though the wife was saved, the husband didn’t survive.

I do not bring it up but after two hours of being on the road, hubby says, “The accident happened somewhere here.”

He was thinking about the friend too. With our collective thoughts on that day, we recall what it is like not to have gentle and the ever-smiling B in our lives anymore.

We arrive at Kohlapur confident that we will get accommodation at our usual halt, Pearl, an old, slightly run down place. It supposedly serves fabulous Konkan fare and is especially known for their mutton curry. We are surprised to learn that the place is full and the security guard guides us to another place close by which is newer. We arrive there and check in, book a room with a Jacuzzi (the kids want it) and realize it does not work. But no one is too bothered as we are closer to that comfort zone called “Home” than we’ve ever been since this road trip started. That evening we stroll down to Hotel Pearl to indulge in their amazing food.

Another lovely little temple

Approaching the Western Ghats

Windmills

The last day :  2^nd June   :

Almost there now!

Every sign board we see on the road that indicates that much creates a flutter of excitement. The last evening itself we entered the state of Maharashtra after covering three other states in all…one of them twice so.

We will also retrace the steps we’d taken when we’d just started the trip with a heavy heart. Because that’s what happens when holidays end — you are both relieved and sad!!! We pass by the same landscape and architectural delights that enthralled the first time round. Hands reach out for the camera and retreat. “We took this picture once…why waste memory!!!” We pass Karad, Satara going around the scenic Ghats and finally arrive at Pune. We are then on the Expressway and cruising at a comfortable speed knowing well that we’ll be home in time for a cuppa early afternoon tea. On the way we make a lunch halt and get the boys the burgers they’ve so wanted to have.

Beautiful sights like this keep your fingers trigger happy

Duke’s Nose – a landmark on Mumbai-Lonavla-Pune highway

Driving through Vashi in the Mainland to the Island of Mumbai, we’ve finally arrived. It will take us just another half an hour or so to reach home.

For the next couple of days we’ll be unpacking, putting things away, discovering objects that we “lost” during the trip or realizing that something hasn’t turned up in the luggage (and after a thorough check in the car as well) accept the fact that we forgot to take it from some hotel or the other. Little items of memorabilia will remind us of some anecdote or the other and funny stories about the journey will be shared for a while. Then routines will take over, schools will reopen, work will resume and soon enough it will be time to plan another holiday.

Destination South V – God’s Own Land & Spiritual Tryst

God’s Own Land

Trichur or Trisshur is the shortened version of Trishivaperur – the town with three Shiva temples. But fact is there are more than three Shiva temples apart from temples of Lord Krishna and Devi among others. Situate right in the centre of Trichur town or Swaraj Round is the Vadakunathan temple, an ancient Shiva temple that has many lore and myths surrounding it. The temple is massive with a long pathway circumambulating it and has visitors from far and near. Apart from the intricate sculptures you can also view many ancient murals depicting scenes from mythology. Every year, during summer an elaborate temple festival is held here. It is believed that the Lord Shiva of Vadakunathan temple presides over the festivities as the two Goddesses of the nearby Thirumambady temple and the Parmekavu temple pit their wits against each other. The lively Kudamattom function where about a score elephants line up facing each other and begin to close in while the mahouts sitting atop the mammoths flash brilliantly magnificent umbrellas is preceded by many smaller functions. The accompanying Panchavadyam (an orchestra of local percussionists) add zest to the whole event. The grand finale is the fireworks session though that has been under controversy for a while now due to safety hazards and environmental reasons. A few weeks before this the festivities kick start with the inauguration of a fair that is famously known as “Trichur Pooram Exhibition”. Artisans and craftsmen from all over India and Kerala arrive here to display and sell their wares. Apart from that there are various entertainments for children and adults.

Centre of Town – Swaraj Round

Trichur is the cultural capital of the state and amidst messy shopping areas, narrow roads, narrower by-lanes and new malls, you will find a few old houses and temples, old college buildings with massive compounds and other cultural centres. The paddy fields have long since made way for concrete homes and unless you venture further into the countryside you are unlikely to see the vast green fields that once characterised this state. Trichur is not as popular as Kochi, Trivandrum, Kovalam and many other places in Kerala. But there are plenty of things one could see and do.

A Kingfisher

While visiting Coorg we were this close to Kerala, our hometown and it seemed unfair that we move away without coming here. There are plenty of people to visit and meet. The flip side is that the weather in unbearably hot at this time of the year. Unless you intend to brave and attend the Trisshur Pooram, Kerala (like most other places in India) is at best avoided during summer which peaks during April and May.

We are here for five whole days. During this time, we meet several relatives and visit temples. For me it’s an opportunity to find bliss in the lovely shrines and experience the calm that emanates from them. Hubby and I also have our brush with bureaucracy as there are some long over-due official papers that need to be picked up from the Registrar. Surprisingly contrary to the horror stories one gets to hear, we meet a helpful officer and total stranger who assures us that the job will be done. Then we attend a post wedding lunch that is an elaborate meal eaten off plantain leaves and later, a wedding reception party that is buffet-style. Weddings are a good time to meet and catch up with umpteen people you’d never have met otherwise. A planned visit to Kochi is scrapped as the state declares what is known as a Bandh on the day we intend to go there [Bandh means "Closure" and is usually declared in protest against a national grievance or in support of a larger cause  --- roads are closed to regular traffic and shops and other commercial establishments remain shut]. It may be a good idea not to visit Kerala on such days as commuting becomes impossible. In case you do inadvertently get stuck in the state during such time, stay indoors as much as possible —-if you are a tourist then consider spending the day at the Ayurvedic spa attached to your resort/hotel or visit one in the vicinity if it doesn’t have one.

Closing Ceremony of Trissur Pooram festival

On our second day there hubby and I were driving along Swaraj Round when we saw a small Pooram with three caparisoned elephants and a bunch of accompanying percussionists. We pulled over and watched them for a while. It is always a joy to watch the huge mammoths and the percussionists performing with intense joie de vivre. On enquiring we were told that they were concluding the Thrissur Pooram festival with this ceremony. The fair too would end that very evening.

After 5-6 days there, we set off to Coimbatore, stopping for breakfast at Palghat and then calling on a handful of people at Palghat and Coimbatore. By evening we arrived at our destination, the fabulous Isha Yoga Centre at Velliangiri foothills. Velliangiri means silver mountains. This is where we will spend a whole day before leaving for Bangalore the morning after.

Spiritual Tryst

Each person’s spiritual journey is a personal experience. My tryst with spirituality began many years ago when I was still in my teens…it began with a huge volume of Bhagwat Geeta, much later Ramayana. Since I couldn’t read or understand Sanskrit I usually referred to books that had a commentary in English. These were enlightening…sometimes overwhelmingly so.

I had my first lessons in faith and how it works in 2003 during a personal crisis. In 2006, I participated in a spiritual course or lifestyle course as some people refer to it. That’s when I was able to enter the meditative state. It was in 2008 that I experienced Shambavi Mudra that is taught by the Isha organization through their Inner Engineering programme. It is a 20-minute meditation process that includes postures and breathing as well. I had been to the ashram a couple of years before doing any of their courses. The ashram itself exudes peaceful vibrations and spiritual energy that I haven’t experienced elsewhere. The notable highlights of the Ashram are its Dhyanalinga temple with its large linga, the Linga Bhairavi temple dedicated to the feminine Divine and the Spanda Hall where many of their courses are conducted and best of all—the Thirt kund, a bathing tank, the water of which is mercury-energised. A dip in this tank is a must-do when visiting the ashram. [ A larger hall and a separate tank has been consecrated here since we last visited. The ashram very thoughtfully provides one with a list of schedules, timings, regulations and even a map of its interiors. Food is provided at the Biksha Hall and there are two-three batches during each meal time. You are expected to be there ten minutes prior to food being served. This healthy food is specially prepared by volunteers as an act of love and selflessness. In case you do not care for it though, a canteen outside provides the regular dosas-idli-vada-sambar, tea, coffee, et al. Also do check out the Isha shop for music, memorabilia, some excellent stone and brass creations and other things. But do remember that you are here to experience the spiritual side of yourself-so focus on that aspect first]

I did mention this is a personal journey – so I shall run you through a brief description of our day. The temple has always held a special fascination for all four of us…yes, even the children. [They had themselves been a part of a Nature camp exactly a year before this visit]. We visit the temple three times during the course of the day. During one of those visits we attend the Nadaaradhana-a mesmeric musical tribute to Shiva. In the evening, as advised by one of the ashram inhabitants, a yoga teacher and a good friend, we participate in a special spiritual ritual that involved bathing in the Thirtkund and then performing certain rites at the Linga Bhairavi temple. The Linga Bhairavi is presided over by priestesses and our Priestess is charming with a beatific smile and shoulder-length curly hair. I think the first part of my description would fit most of these priestesses anyway. The ritual is soothing and enthralling.

Clouds blanketing the Silver Mountains

We are up early the next morning. We have to meet a friend and her daughter for breakfast in Coimbatore town. But before we leave, both hubby and I will visit the temples one last time.

Chitralekha – A Portrait by the Window – My Entry for the Get Published Contest

The Idea –  Young Jairam saw Chitralekha by a window…he liked her and decided to find out more and what he learnt changed both their lives…

Extract –

He was tall, burly and reserved. She was petite,  and gentle. As we got closer to our new neighbours, we realized he was also very helpful by nature, though he remained, as always, a soft-spoken person. She became one of the best friends my mother ever had. I heard that theirs was a love story and was intrigued … what tale did they have to tell ? The Beauty and the Gentle Giant!

It had to be chubby-faced Kartu who was employed to do outdoor jobs who could tell me their story. She also worked in their house. She would know. Maid-servants usually did! After hauling dried coconut leaves to one corner of the backyard and sweeping the large compound, she sat down for lunch. She was just about finishing her meal, when I went to my mother’s tinderbox and pulled out a few betelnut leaves and an arecanut.

“Will you tell me something if I give you this?” I tried to entice her as I held out the trophy.

She looked at it suspiciously. Scooping up the last handful of rice and pulses, she relished it, “What do I have to tell you?”

“The story of how Jairam Uncle met Chitralekha Auntie,” I said.

“Why?”

“I want to write their story.”

She let that information sink in, nodding her head slowly, then she said, “Okay!”

About ten minutes later, we were sitting out at the back porch, Kartu with her legs stretched out, a single betel leaf and some arecanut safely in her mouth; Me the eager beaver, ears perked up, sitting next to her on the wide steps that led down to the vegetable garden.

“So what is it that you want to hear?”

“I know Jairam Uncle saw Auntie by the window when he went to her house to carry out some civil work. He was a young apprentice then. I know that when their respecitve families came to know, they wouldn’t let the two get married…I also know that they had to walk out on their families to start a life of their own, to be ostracized by a few, and admired by many others…”

“You know the whole story then…!!!”

“No, I want to know everything in detail…the teeniest, tiniest bits of information…A story-teller needs to know all that.”

Kartu looked at me like I was mad. But then she smiled indulgently and looking ahead, she cleared her throat noisily much like a child out to participate in a school elocution competition!!!

“It was in the early 1970s. You must have been a tot then. Oh!!! Love was not a common thing between strangers those days. And this one is an unusually beautiful story too.” Kartu beamed at me and her eyes sparkled!!!

Endnote: This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal andHarperCollins India.

An Offering

The dust slowly rose from where the workers were sieving sand for the concrete mixture. In the early 1970s, most of the work on building sites in towns and rural areas were still done manually and manual labour was imperative.

“Jairam, fetch the spade from the kit,” the Civil Engineer told his 20-something apprentice.

The young man looked up reluctantly. He had only just started to assist the masons in preparing the mortar mixture.

“ Couldn’t you send someone else to do that?” Jairam asked his Boss. The Boss gave him a disapproving look that meant “Do it now or get the sack.”

Jairam got up and began to walk away from the group to the tool-shed where the workers stored their various kits and equipment temporarily. Jairam regretted being the chosen one, he regretted being picked on by his Boss all the time, his only fault being that he was sincere and good at his job. Even as he made his way towards the shed, his heart began to sink…this time for a different reason.

It was ten days since they’d arrived at the ancient mansion belonging to an aristocratic family to renovate certain parts of the huge structure. Passing by the large garden that was tended to by one of the old ladies who lived in the house, he glanced furtively towards a particular window. He averted his gaze as quickly. Yes, she was there. With her large limpid eyes, long wavy hair left loose to dry just after a bath and a hint of a smile playing on her lips…the young girl he was beginning to fancy. He knew he didn’t have a hope in hell, but her sight took his breath away. Jairam entered the tool shed with a red face and some of the workers who were taking a break there asked him what the matter was.

“Nothing,” he said, grabbing the spade and rushing back. Again he took a quick look. She was still there and she seemed to be waiting for him, this time a hand on her mouth, stifling a giggle. He smiled back nervously and was surprised that she didn’t take offence. With jaunty steps, he returned with the spade and the workers teased him about his sudden changed mood.

“Give him more work, Sir,” a few of the workers teased, “It seems to make him happier”. Jairam chuckled and even the Contractor smiled at that.

Now his heart was set on finding out more about the girl. Fortunately, that proved an easy task.

“Oh, such a pretty girl” one day, he heard two of the female labourers discussing as they bore trays of cement mixture on their heads to the site. He pretended to be busy at work, but he was listening keenly to  the conversation.

“Poor thing!” tut-tutted the other, “To think she cannot walk without help…or be like a normal girl.”

As the women left, still discussing the girl, he looked towards the house. He remembered the pretty face by the window and his heart skipped several beats. From then onwards, the physical attraction that he had for the pretty person at the window was replaced by adoration and respect.

This is where I’ll stop imagining their story…how they met, the first look they exchanged and such other things. I can write anything I like…paint a hundred pictures that are more beautiful than the previous one!!! Maybe he saw her on her way to the temple along with her grandmother, aunts and mother; Maybe he never did see her smile, instead a teardrop and a sad song marred her beautiful countenance; Maybe be he wasn’t even looking at whether she was smiling or weeping — he was too smitten even to notice. In the end, they fell in love-that much is true. There were many objections, the girl was from an aristocratic background, he was not. She had a physical problem, he didn’t. He took her away and married her, got ostracized for that bold move by some and admired for his courage by others. Both of them never regretted what they did.

When I met them he was an over forty, tall, burly but gentle “Uncle” and she, the sweet, pretty and chirpy “Auntie” living in the neighbourhood. That’s what I called them. One of her legs had been crippled after a severe attack of Polio that she suffered during childhood. She had to depend on ankle straps, walkers and support to move within her house. When she stepped out of her house, her husband stood by her like a rock. He had grown from apprentice to a well-established Civil Engineer himself. To ensure his wife was safe during his and his son’s absence, he kept two dogs – a Doberman and a German Shepherd. These dogs barked at the tiniest hint of a passer-by. We could hear them yowling all the way down the lane from Auntie’s house to where we lived. Together, with all their differences, Uncle and Auntie made a lovely pair – the veritable duo of Beauty and the gentle Giant!

But we all know happy endings can be possible only in fairy tale books. One day, Uncle passed away. Auntie was bereft. But such was the courage he had instilled in her that she was still strong enough to withstand the immense loss. Her concerned query of “How will I live without him?” when he was alive was replaced by “He gave me the strength to carry on.” Yet you could sense, she missed him deeply.

Within weeks of his passing away, their son and his wife brought joyous news to her. A baby was about to arrive in the house. When it did, it turned out to be a little boy.

I’d like to believe Uncle came back to be with Auntie. That’s the way I would like this story to end. But then that’s just me!

Destination South IV – Anecdotes for the Road – Coorg to Trichur

1. We leave after breakfast. By the time we hit the road it’s well past 9.30. Instead of the Wynad route, we’ll be arriving at Trichur via Tellicherry. As you descend the Ghats down winding roads, you espy the plains below. Kerala remains green throughout the year as the state experiences two major rainy seasons – one the regular Monsoons which bring most parts of the country its yearly quota of rains through June to August or September …the other one that occurs only in certain places during October or early November that is characterized by thunder storms and heavy evening showers. When we enter the state that summer, nothing disappoints. It is still as green as ever. And like that is not enough, the Gulmohur tree that flowers around that time is in full bloom everywhere.

  

2. We see the funniest thing as we cross Mahe. Mahe is a Union Territory of India and not a state. Certain tax laws and other regulations differ for these places. My husband tells me to observe as we drive through the town. During the short ride, we are amazed at the number of wine shops and the huge queues outside these. The taxes being much lower out here, people from in and around the area crowd to Mahe to stock up on their alcoholic beverages. So no wonder everyone out here seem to be in good spirits!!!

3. On the roads of Kerala, there is only one rule. The buses ply first. Everyone else must follow. Now don’t get me wrong!!! These rules are made by the bus-drivers themselves as they vie and try to beat each other to the next stop. They literally fly by until they are mere specks in the distance. It will make you wonder whether the vehicle you are traveling by (in our case, a Honda Civic) is lighter or whether theirs is. But it is best to be safe on these roads than risk it. My husband had marveled at the fabulous wide roads once we reached the national highway. Not that it helped much — it still took us 2 hours more than was required. These huge monsters with their blaring horns and their reckless drivers actually slowed us down on this stretch of our trip.

 

4. The Malabar biriyani is a must-try when one is visiting the North of Kerala. We’d stopped at Calicut last time. This time we didn’t pass through Calicut. Instead Tellichery , another Biriyani destination, was recommended as a good lunch stop-over. We were given a few names of good restaurants. But on asking around, one helpful stranger said, “Don’t go there…go to Hotel Paris…best biriyani.” Here the hubby and children indulged in chicken biriyani and I ate the egg version. The total rating given by the family is roughly between 2 ½ – 3. Actually I quite liked it myself!!! Also remember that in many places in India, people would guide you to family restaurants if they see women and children travelers. These may not be the best food-wise though!

 

5. Loo stops on the Indian highway have to be chosen carefully. You can opt to use the WCs when you make your food stops. Alternately behind bushes and trees is another option. I normally play it safe…while the boys do it wherever they can, I control fluid intake reducing my regular consumption to a few sips at a time. I am told it is most unhealthy. As far as I am concerned, dirty loos are unhealthy. But not every time, am I that lucky. Like on this particular trip, I had to go. We were just an hour away from our destination-Trichur town. But I couldn’t hold on any longer. And we’d left all the bushes and shrubs far behind. Seeing my desperation, my husband pulled over along a huge shop that was called something-Mall. They had to have toilets for the customers, we reckoned. Sid was asked to accompany. All 5’7” of him tagged along dragging his unwilling feet. When I asked the security chap where I could use a washroom, he gave me a nasty look and pointed to some space inside. I went to the saree section of this large shop. By the way, this so-called mall was not a mall, but just a big shop meant for wedding shopping. The salesgirls on being asked immediately told me to wait, while one of them quickly scrubbed and tidied up a tiny space that doubled up as a store room besides being the staff toilet…yes, there were none for customers. “So embarrassing!!! So embarrassing!!!” Sid muttered. Once I was done, I looked around for the girls who’d seemed more than willing to help me. None of them were there and by this time, dying of shame, Sid dragged me away before I could search for them and do the needful.

But it reaffirmed one thing for me — Kerala is one of the cleanest states in India.

Destination South III – Coffee Town

Day 5(…cont): By now we were used to being on the road. We were packed and ready to move on by 11:30.  Coorg isn’t very far from Kabini. But the fact is bad roads made the ride a bumpy one too often. And we weren’t doing straightforward routes all through. We’d opted to take a route that would go through wildlife reserve for the first half an hour. We were in no tearing hurry either…check-in time at our next halt was around lunchtime and we were on a holiday after all.

The drive was done slowly through sylvan surroundings in the hope of seeing some wildlife. The few locals who were walking on the roads with their livestock made way for us while we lumbered along the bad patches of road first and then through the wildlife reserve as there are speed limits to be adhered to. We rolled down the windows and ditched the music for sometime. Signboards posted at regular intervals reminded us: Wildlife ahead…Drive slowly…Do not blow horn…Do not feed monkeys…!!! Enveloped in the beautiful sounds of silence we spotted herds of elephants a couple of times. Shortly we were out of the reserve. It had been a beautiful drive.

We arrived at Coorg well past lunch time. Activity at the reception was on in full swing. Several guests had arrived before us and still more kept pouring in as we waited to be allocated a room. As we sipped on some refreshing sherbet my hubby filled up a form. About fifteen minutes later, the kids opted for a ride in the buggy along with our luggage, while we decided to walk to our room.

Something on Coorg – This is our third visit to the resort…our fourth to the pretty little town and our third again by an all-car journey. Here you can do the regular touristy things of sight-seeing, topping the list of must-see, the fort and museum, Raja’s seat, Abbey falls, Dubare elephant camp where you can give an elephant a scrub and watch them being fed and finally the spectacular Bylacuppe Namdroling Golden Buddha temple, a Buddhist Monastery. Also shop for the locally made coffee, tea, spices and surprisingly scrumptious home-made chocolates! We bought ours at a shop called Cotton Greens. The food of the area is unique indeed and their pandi (pork) curry is to die for apparently. Unfortunately I’ve never eaten outside the resort but have been lucky enough to taste a few local specialties like Kadmbuttu (Steamed rice balls) that was served at the resort and are to be eaten with spicy gravy.

Our itinerary for that part of the stay had been chalked out even before we arrived there. We’d seen enough of the Raja’s seat, the fort and the elephant camp. On earlier visits, I’d missed out on seeing the monastery and returned to Mumbai to be told that I should have seen it. That and anything else that caught our fancy we were ready to consider. After all the waking up early to arrive at our various previous destination in good time and then the morning safaris at Kabini, we’d decided that this leg of our trip would be all about relaxation and some nice quiet fun. The children would have their activities and each other for company.

Now Coorg is termed the Scotland of India. To say it’s mesmeric would be an understatement. It’s one of those places where commercialism is yet to make a big impact. With pleasant weather throughout the year, Coorg abounds in coffee and tea estates. This means that the main occupation of the residents is plantation-related with many of them owning estates and massive bungalows on the hilltops. Coorg boasts of food and culture that is exquisite. The people of Coorg are elegant and attractive. Their attire stately and customs are also very tradition-based. They are the only community (or one of the few) in India that is allowed to own guns and rifles.

Having visited the resort two times earlier, the children too were familiar with the place. Even before we’d settled down in the room, they ran off to explore the surroundings. We did that much later having put up our feet and unpacked. Before we stepped out I sat in the balcony listening to the bird calls. Coorg is an amazing place for sighting various birds. The resort itself is the perfect place to spot them in plenty. An ideal evening would be spent in the balcony listening to the call of the Whistling Malabar Thrush also known as the Whistling School Boy and sipping on a nice hot cup of tea. At times, it is difficult to even believe that it’s not actually a person whistling.

On our second day there, we decided to visit Bylacuppe’s Namdrolling Buddhist Monastery. This was a first for me and the kids. The resort had an activity desk from where they’d arrange various short tours and treks within the resort and outside through coffee plantations. We were requested to be at the gate by 9 AM which we were. Apart from us, there was a couple and a family of four as well. A personal guide accompanied us. Our first stop en-route to Bylacuppe was the deer park. This was a large spacious park with pedal boat rides, elephant rides and enclosures with deer, rabbits and love birds. Here you could buy a small plate of cut cucumbers to feed the deer. Unlike the timid and cautious ones from the wild from a few days ago, these would actually eat the cucumber straight out of your hand. By this time, Sid and Abhi had befriended the 9-year-old boy who was part of our group.

From here we set out for the monastery.  It includes Buddhist temples, Meditation Halls and hospital and accommodation for the 5000 monks and nuns who, it is said, reside there. The architecture is typical of what one would see in Tibet…colourful murals and sculptures adorn the walls and high ceilings where Gods, Dragons and Phoenixes vie with each other for space. The main structure houses three huge statues, the central one being Buddha flanked by his successors on either side. You could move around the large hall admiring the beautiful work of art or sit before the idols with closed eyes. After spending about an hour there we returned to our vehicle, but not before picking up a packet of cut raw mango that was to be doused in a mixture of chilly and salt before you took a bite.

During the rest of our time at Coorg, the children spent time either playing badminton, swimming, watching television or checking out how brave they were at the Adventure Valley. We found the perfect spot at Planter’s Club, a bar/coffee shop, which was the only place where one could get access to the internet…that plus the fact that, it was a quieter part of the resort. Also on offer at the resort are various Ayurvedic massages that can be indulged in at their spa. According to your need the staff will advise you on which treatment is most suitable. The masseuse were competent and both my husband and I felt as good as new once they were done with us. We would take long walks outside the resort as well. Within the resort, the children discovered a shortcut to the restaurant and activity area. We began to use this route to move about that. One afternoon while returning to the room, we discovered two small birds that were busily searching amidst the bushes for some juicy tidbits. We played an interesting game of hide and seek and I managed to click a picture of one of them finally.

After four days of quiet and rest at Coorg, we decided to do a nature trek on our last day there. Our naturalist Viswanath was well-informed and came equipped with a pair of binoculars and a book on birds as well (We got to pick up the book called “Feather Jewels of Coorg” from the resort shop that evening). Among the many birds we saw were the blue-winged parakeet, woodpeckers and egrets. The walk was nice and soothing, the birds were beautiful. We were particularly excited when a Whistling Malabar Thrush decided to let us look at him in his shiny blue splendour from close quarters. After that we walked till we reached a marshy area and were told that’s where the trek ended. But Sid decided he’d like to see some more and walked ahead on his own. The rest had no option but to follow him. I stood where I was…alone with a few birds and a couple of cows that stood grazing beyond a flimsy fence for company.

A drive into town that afternoon reminded us that our tryst with this beautiful hill was soon coming to an end. We were out to pick up some gifts and tank up on petrol before we set off the next morning. We would be packed and ready for our return trip by late evening.

And I told myself I can just never have enough of Coorg.

PS : Club Mahindra is a time-share resort and it has RCI affiliation. Their Coorg property is rated as one of the best. Now if you want peace and quiet, Kodagu Valley Resort is avoidable during school vacations. If your idea of holidaying is a quiet evening listening to the birds, you are better off opting for home stay. On the other hand, for those traveling with children the Kodagu Valley Resort will make sure that the family is entertained with activities that range in interest for the tiniest tot to the young-at-heart grand pas and grannies. The food here is child-friendly and the spread per se is always good. The rooms are well-spaced out with balconies that open out into greenery though you do have to walk a lot. The rooms we occupied have always been large and spacious—and that includes the washroom. Room service is quite slow during mealtimes and understandably so. Personally, I’d give a thumbs-up to the Kodagu Valley Resort myself and love going there.

Destination South II – All That’s Wild and Beautiful

 

Day 3:-

Nothing could prepare us for the bad roads we were about to encounter on our way to our next halt-Kabini. Kabini is the name of a river and the area surrounding it – the lush green jungles of Nagarhole where you can spot elephants, gaurs(the Indian bison), sambar deer and various other animals, birds and reptiles…and if you are very lucky a tiger.

As my husband drove very carefully over the badly pot-holed road, the car hit bottom on several occasions. SUVs, buses and even some smaller cars whizzed by regularly. We did as well as a Civic with its low chassis could on such roads. We reached the resort after spending 45 minutes on a 12 km stretch of very bad or no road at all. On arrival we were given a quick briefing and guided to our room- a fabulous river facing cottage with a hammock in the courtyard. For now, it was time for the adults to rest and the children to go around the property exploring. All that after some well-deserved late lunch!

Kabini River Lodge was the hunting lodge of the Maharajas of yore. The original structure called Viceroy’s Bungalow is used as the main space or common area that includes bars, audio-visual room, shop, a museum, et al. There are rooms that can be hired. These are supplemented by several cottages as well as tents that have pucca washrooms attached. The golgar (or round house), a thatched open space is the meeting point at meal times and also before safaris. Here they assign you the jeep and naturalist you will be traveling with. The place has changed much since our last visit and has several additions and more changes. The dining area has been extended in order to cater to the growing number of tourists.

By four we reported at the golgar for our first jeep safari. With fingers crossed for a good naturalist, decent co-passengers and some excellent sighting, we were off. Our co-passengers were people who made regular visits to the resort (2-3 times a year, they told us). They came armed with state-of-the-art cameras with humongous lenses. I heard my better-half sigh wistfully. Within minutes of starting the safari, the naturalist spotted a leopard. So easy to miss as it sat on one of branches of a tree that stood off the clearing. Like my mother pointed out later, a few leaps and bounds and we could have been the big cat’s meal. We stood there watching mesmerized wanting to kick ourselves for not getting a binocular or two. In the prevailing silence every bird call, clicking of cameras and whispered discussion stood out as we watched the beauty. Aware that he was the object of much attention, it continued to lounge always alert but never watching us. Fifteen minutes went by which became half an hour…and we still had not had enough. The next jeep arrived and we had no option but to leave (Rules of safari state that not more than one jeep of Nature enthusiasts are permitted to occupy a spot at one time). The driver revved the engine and it gave us a disapproving look as we moved on. Much later we saw deer, peacocks, many exotic birds like rare eagles, owls, kingfisher and hoopoe and the tail of a fleeing python.

At the resort, Sid hired a cycle and enjoyed the rest of the evening speeding down the paths. We watched the sunset over the river and I sniffed as a funny smell wafted by. “Serpent’s egg!” I declared. Where I lived in Kerala, there were always plenty of snakes and I was used to the smell.

The silence crept on us like a comfortable shroud. City people love this sound or the lack of any sound but too much of it can become unnerving after a while. Later in the evening we headed for the Viceroy’s Bungalow. Here we were presented with an audio-visual on the research done by an Indian naturalist on a certain pack of wild dogs. After the enthralling 30-minute long footage, we all headed for the golgar for dinner. After that we walked back to the room with the children stopping every now and then to examine some creepy crawly or the other. In no time we were in our room and then into the world of beautiful dreams.

Day 4:- We rose early so that we could be in time for tea and biscuits followed by the jeep safari. That morning our washroom itself had transformed into a mini wildlife sanctuary with all kinds of insects fluttering about the light bulb or lying dead in the washbasin. Soon we were ready and arrived at the golgar.

Once again we were assigned a jeep with two young wildlife aficionados both armed with cameras with largish lenses as co-travelers. Abhi decided to utilize his time well by assisting the two young people by pointing out the various birds and other creatures. Soon you could make out that they had turned into a mutual admiration group—Abhi fascinated by the men and their cameras and they by his interest in Nature and his need to know everything about the things he saw. He’d carried along a little booklet that had been handed over to us on arrival. This book had the names and details of the birds that inhabited the jungles of Nagarhole. Each time he saw a bird, he’d leaf through the pages and find the name and other facts and reprise us with this new information.

Unfortunately this trip proved to be a disappointment. After spotting the leopard on the very first day, our hopes had gone up significantly. The only exciting sighting was that of a Giant Malabar squirrel that funnily tried to pretend that it was a hole in the tree. It just wouldn’t move. Either it was scared or it was just too fat to make any quick movement. We also saw elephants, gaurs, peacocks, deer, monkey and a few birds. We returned six disappointed adventurers from the jungle.

Also included in the package was a coracle ride. When we visited the resort eleven years ago, we’d be taken into the outer periphery of the jungle and then on the coracle. They’d take you into the river for a good 20-30 minutes and we’d made some wonderful sightings of birds then. We’d also taken Sid, then two years of age, on an elephant ride. The elephant ride is not available throughout the year and was not so on our last visit. And the coracle ride is no longer offered within the jungle but outside the golgar on the banks.

It was bright and sunny and even as we set out the wrathful summer sun was blazing unrelentingly.  The boatman kept discouraging us as well as complaining about the heat and how we were not going to see anything. We went as far as a submerged and dead tree. There he made the coracle go round a few times and then asked, “Shall we return now? The sun’s too harsh!” We complied. The ride in all took 10-minutes and seemed a waste of effort as we’d spent about 1/4^th that time on putting on the life jackets. As we stepped out, the assistant picked up the sack that was supposed to hold the life jackets. Out jumped a river snake that made some aggressive moves before it quickly made its way towards the river. A fascinated Sid followed it very closely trying to click a good picture. The reptile plunged into the river and disappeared. After a particularly disappointing session that morning, we decided to try out the boat ride that evening hoping for some better sightings.

The golgar is also the place for imparting and receiving news of who saw what. We heard that the boat ride that morning had been particularly good. Some of the guests who went on the jeep safari too had been luckier than us.

We opted for the boat ride that evening. As usual we congregated at the golgar and from there we were taken to our boat with several others. This hour-and-a-half boat safari takes us down the river closer to the wild. Apart from several birds, you can spot elephants, gaurs, deer and other animals that come to the riverside for a drink of water. As always, you can be very lucky and spot one of them big cats as well. Unfortunately the group accompanying us had adults and children who seemed keener on making conversation than in looking around.  My husband and I looked at each other. So no tigers for us this time either!

Despite the noisy bunch aboard, we spotted several birds lounging on submerged tree stumps. A crocodile that basked in the evening sun first with its mouth shut then wide open was oblivious to our presence. And then we saw a most amazing sight. A whole herd of elephants were on their way out of the river after an evening bath with the last of them still in the river. As they moved away slowly and majestically, we stopped to watch them. There were at least two dozen elephants, calves and all. While the bigger ones stood by or ambled away, some of them watching the boat keenly, a group of them seemed to be trying to protect the little babies. After several minutes we returned and passed the slothful crocodile again. As the lights of the day faded away, we put our cameras down and watched as the birds made their way home. The sky turned a bright orange as the sun set over the horizon. We’d arrived at the jetty. As we got out of the boat and made our way towards the golgar, the boys offered to show us a shortcut…something they’d found during their daylong exploration. We walked along the river’s edge towards out cottage and came across a suspicious river bird, a tern maybe or a bittern. Even as we filed past the small opening, we got the strange smell again.

“Serpent’s egg?” my hubby queried.

An hour or so later, the kids did indeed spot a river snake lurking within some bushes a few feet away from our cottage. So I was probably right about its egg also.

That evening, hubby and I headed for the bar while the children watched the movie all over again. We met Subbu and his family and Abhilash, one of the young people from our morning safari. We chatted about the various sightings, cameras, other wildlife resorts in India and yes, even city life. It was a pleasant evening.

Just before we left for dinner my husband made enquiries about an alternate route for the next morning as we were to leave after the safari. The barman who’d been around for sometime and knew the place well made some useful suggestions. One of them was going to be through wildlife reserve most of the way. That meant, it wasn’t time to keep the cameras away yet.

Day 5 :-

We had one more chance. We’d seen a leopard, plenty of deer, peacocks, gaurs, elephants, again plenty of them, but we’d heard of guests having observed a kill the last evening. After the following safari, we’d be headed to Coorg. So this was virtually our last chance to see anything more spectacular than what we had seen all this time. My husband insists you have to be very lucky to see something like that. We’d all been lucky when we spotted the leopard the first time round. According to him, you have to be blessed to spot a tiger. Going by that, he is the only one blessed in our family.

Now I believe that some people can bring you the luck. And it can also work the other way round. I think that the family that shared the jeep with us that morning and our family just proved very good for each other. The husband, a dermatologist from Bangalore, was a chatty middle-aged man, his wife the quiet reserved type. They had two children too, a girl and a boy. Very excitedly, the doctor went on to describe their last few sightings of various incredible scenes, the best of the lot being a leopard crossing the road and a pack of wild dogs with a recent kill. My hubby and I exchanged glances. With just an hour and half in the wild left, how much luck could we have now? We entered the jungle with our fingers crossed.

Within fifteen minutes, our naturalist spotted a leopard. We stopped the jeep to get a better view. This one too like the earlier one knew he was being watched and didn’t seem to like it as he looked this way and that, always avoiding eye contact. And like the earlier one, this one was also perched on a branch up a tree beyond the clearing. Minutes later and upset by all the attention, it finally left its resting place, climbing down the branch and carefully lumbering down the trunk. It was a sight straight out of a wildlife channel on TV.

The jeep began to move ahead once again. A peacock stood on the track like it had an appointment with us and it suddenly spread its plumage doing its pretty dance as it went round and round shaking its tail feathers. Mother Nature had indeed chosen to be kind to us on this last day of ours. The doctor, as my husband pointed out later, seemed happier than us that we’d been able to see something this spectacular. Instead of being satisfied with what we’d seen so far, suddenly our hearts seemed to want more. Leopard perched on tree, dancing peacock, now what? Rumbling its way through the turns and bends, our naturalist got the driver to stop the vehicle just where the clearing before the river bank began. Far away, few elephants were seen to be making their way towards the river. The naturalist through his binoculars also spotted a pack of wild dogs that seemed to be coming in the elephants’ way. For the naked eye, the dogs appeared like a few scattered rocks amidst more rocks. One of the elephants seemed to notice us and kept looking in our direction. It is to be remembered that elephants become extra protective when there are babies in their midst. Also a lone tusker is potential danger and known to be in a bad temper most of the time. And elephants can run and knock you down faster than you can imagine.

Ten minutes must have gone by and I was beginning to wonder why we were waiting when there was nothing much to see or do. But expect a naturalist to know his job.  In a little while, the elephants began to chase the wild dogs away from where they sat. It was indeed funny to watch the huge monsters sprint gently down the bank while the perplexed dogs tried their best to stay put. After all, the calf that the elephants were guarding must have been enticing enough for them to try and remain on that spot. The elephants were having none of that. Slowly, they made sure that every single dog had left the vicinity. The peeved dogs now sauntered down the banks and were just a few metres away from us. You could make out that they were not very happy with this show of power by the elephants. As we marveled at what we’d just seen, one of the dogs began to crouch in the typical hunting posture. Everyone in the jeep grew alert. Looking in the other direction, we saw what it meant to target. A herd of deer were making their way to the riverside for their morning drink of water. With the dogs at their heels, the herd broke up into several groups and headed in various directions. Some of them returned into the woods. The dogs took their pick, till finally they cornered and chased one small group, their final target being a fawn. In a moment, they’d mauled the tiny creature and began their feast. It didn’t take long for the vultures to arrive and they stood guard waiting for the dogs to leave whatever was left to them.

The sad but spectacular Nature show ended there. Our return journey began soon enough. The Kabini leg of our trip was virtually over. We headed back to our room after breakfast and began to pack up. For now, it was goodbye to the beautiful wild.

Nostalgia time :

We visited the Kabini River Lodge in the year 2000. At that time we’d stayed in one of the rooms in a block (one of the original structures). We’d arrived in the afternoon and realized we’d left behind Sid’s bag back at my brother-in-law’s house in Bangalore. Now here lay the problem. Sid was only two years old and his clothes and other basic necessities were in there. Second problem—my husband’s brother had lent us his car and the driver had brought us there. He was to leave the car with us and return before dusk. The sweet person that he was, he offered to go all the way to Bangalore and come back with the bag as soon as possible. He’d borrow a cycle and get to the town where he’d catch a bus. By the time he came back with the bag it would be evening and again after he’d left the bag with us and returned, even later. The roads to the resort are safe during the day, but during dawn, dusk and night time it becomes unsafe as the creatures of the jungle begin to venture out from the woods.

“Please call us when you get back,” my husband requested the kind driver. He said he would. Till we heard from him much later, we were worried for the poor man. And for me, he’d definitely turned into a hero.

During the jeep safaris, Sid would take up position in between us, standing up and holding the bar behind the driver’s seat. I don’t know what he understood. But he quietly watched every single animal and bird not uttering a sound for a whole hour and a half. The naturalists and drivers were obviously very fascinated with the little creature within the jeep.  We were there for 3 nights with 7-8 safaris ahead of us. On one particular safari, two German women were our co-passengers. As we were leaving, they turned around to face each other and said something. It wasn’t difficult to decipher the gist of their conversation: “The child is going to be a nuisance”

We set out for the safari and had a peaceful journey. On our return one of the ladies said, “Your child is so quiet. We were worried he would not to be so.” Sometimes you don’t need to know a language to hear what people are saying.

Unfortunately our boat safari turned out to be a disaster. Apart from Sid, there was a smaller kid on our boat along with his dad, mom and grandparents. Heaven knows what bit them, but the children were at their worst behavior. The naturalist accompanying us pointed out that the kids, who were normally very good, seemed to be in a mood for tantrums. In the 1 hour we were out there, Sid threw his bottle, cap and one shoe into the water. Finally we decided to turn back before being able to see anything much.

On the other hand the coracle ride was amazing. And the elephant ride after that was even more so. The elephant we were sitting on was being followed by her calf. Somewhere in between, the calf stretched out her trunk and grabbed a bunch of leaves, happily feeding on it.

I pointed towards the calf and told Sid, “See! The baby elephant is eating mum-mum.”

That set Sid off as he’d not eaten anything that morning, “I want mum-mum.”

Now how do you convince a two-year old that the jungle is not the place where a human child or its mommy can find food?

On the same visit, we met this wonderful family – a husband, wife, their two children and another couple who were traveling with them. For two of the three days we stayed at Kabini, our family seemed to become a part of theirs, with their older children taking care of Sid and our spending mealtimes together.

During one of the jeep safaris, our group encountered a lone tusker, almost literally. We halted to watch the usually gentle giant, but this one was not so. Once we tried to move again, the elephant would make as if to charge. The driver then would have to stop the jeep and wait for a few minutes more. This went on for some time with the elephant striding closer to us each time we moved and then lumbering backwards when we’d stopped. Needless to say, our hearts were in our mouths. Finally on the last attempt, the chap didn’t seem to mind and it took minutes before anyone heaved a sigh of relief.

And again when one of the tyres of our jeep got stuck in some muck! It was the same spot where a tiger had been spotted that morning and we were hoping to get lucky. But at that moment, with the men out trying to push the car out of the rut, I was fervently praying that no tiger came. And thankfully, it didn’t!

For certain reasons, we had to extend our stay at the resort by a day. They had no regular rooms for us and offered to put us up in a tented accommodation instead. That morning we moved bag and all into the room. We were surprised to see a well-furnished room with a concretized bathroom attached. But by the time we returned from our evening safari, the room and especially the bed with its clean white sheets were full of small frogs. I freaked out. We had them removed once, but that didn’t stop them from returning after an hour or so. Somehow or other, we managed to spend the night there hoping that the frogs didn’t go into our mouths while we slept.

PS : Bookings to Kabini River Lodge can be made online. With no televisions or air conditioners to spoil the guests, it’s a perfect place to get close to Nature and spend quality time with your loved ones. The rooms are large and well equipped with housekeeping doing their daily rounds. Expect to have company in the form of creepy crawlies especially at night. The trick is to not leave the door of your room open. The windows have been thoughtfully provided with mosquito nets. So you will have sufficient ventilation at all times. The staff is courteous and the naturalists know their birds and animals well. Food which is served at the golgar is closer to home-cooked fare…don’t expect anything spectacular. If it’s food you are after, do go elsewhere. Also Kabini has changed a lot during the last 12 years. There are more tourists and not everyone comes there for the love of animals. So be prepared for some unruly behaviour…alternately assure the head naturalist that you are a serious Nature lover and would love similar company during the safaris. Summer is the best time to visit as the smaller ponds within the jungles go dry and the animals have to venture out for a drink. You may also want to check out some of the other lodges and guest houses at Kabini online. And if you do indeed decide to go after reading this, I wish you get even luckier than us !!! And maybe you’ll also be blessed with the sight of a tiger!!!

Destination South – Fun on the Road 2012

The best thing about a road trip is its flexibility. The amount of luggage you can carry or when and where you stop, plus the fact that there are no airplanes to catch or security checks and scanners to queue up for. In short, no worries that you’ve inadvertently left a half bottle of soft drink in your bag or that your kid has sneaked his toy gun into his haversack!!!

We were to visit Madikeri in the district of Coorg in Karnataka and probably go from there to Kabini forest reserve for another couple of days. The preliminary bookings were done and the itinerary had been chalked out. The plan was this – we’d fly from Mumbai to Bangalore and then take a bus or taxi thereafter to our destination. Road conditions and car hire options were discussed. But something seemed to be amiss.

Now when you have lived with a person for over one-and-a-half dozen years, there are things you can decipher without making much of an effort. Driving all the way from Mumbai to Karnataka was never discussed per se but every discussion was starting to end with road journey mooted as an option. I pretended I hadn’t really heard it. These were followed by deep sighs and pro-road travel statements. “If we were taking the car, we could also go see ABC…” or “XYZ says the road conditions from Mumbai to Bangalore are excellent.”

I kept trying to pretend but finally had to give in. So we discussed the various pros and cons of taking the car. If this had been a school debate then I was “against”.

Like it was not the first time we’d traveled by road. As early as 1996, my husband and I’d gone on a circuitous trip of South India, starting at Mumbai, then Goa, Jog Hills, Ullal (a beach town),  Madikeri, Mysore, Bangalore and then back to Mumbai. We have taken Sid on a road trip the day after he turned two. He was an angel from the word go, not once stressing us out on account of anything from food, naptimes, et al. Son No.2 turned out to be a tough customer on the other hand. And he was four when he took his first road trip. But recently I’d developed a dislike for that mode of long distance travel. The reasons I shall delve into later.

Have to say that I finally succumbed and whatever reason it was that had made me nervous decided to vamoose for the time-being at least.

Next was to decide the route. Advice seemed to pour in suddenly from various seasoned road-travelers. Most of them seemed useful but some turned out to be conflicting and confusing.

If someone said NH “a” was the best route until this spot and that’s where you’d turn right, another person insisted that you were to avoid that road till the said spot as it was totally pot-holed. We picked and chose and finally decided on our final route. Here we have to thank the wonderful Google Map programme that seemed to uncomplainingly sort out our route problem each time we got new advice and changed it.

Of course there are set-backs to this too…as soon as we’d fixed one route, Google Map would throw a surprise at us…”Would you also like to include…?” There was some monument or the other close to our route that was a not-to-miss…we finally zeroed in on two ancient temple complexes that we’d drive close by. Fortunately we had very little time and we decided to give the other places a miss.

Soon the plan was in place, the travel shopping done, road music assorted and compiled and the car tuned up. We were going to be on the road for 20 days ( with many halts of course) – my husband, my children, two boys aged 13 and 9 and I!

 

Day 1:

Day one started quite early. The idea was to hit the road at the earliest. Weekend traffic from Mumbai up to Pune builds up by 7ish…so it’s always best that you are out of Mumbai city between 6:30 to 7 AM. But there was a hitch here. We had to see off my parents who’d been visiting us and were to travel to their hometown in Kerala the same day. We decided to take it easy. Our first halt was to be Hubli. So we drove up to the airport in two cars, one our Honda Civic and the other a hired SUV.

By the time we left the airport it was 7 AM already. What I’ve experienced and what my husband swears by – make the most of time and distance on the first few days. That’s when your holiday has started, enthusiasm runs high and exhaustion hasn’t set in …yet. We didn’t take any food halts. And what was to be only breakfast, some lovely kebabs, chicken patties and cheese sandwiches sent by a thoughtful friend, turned into a light brunch and a late afternoon snack. These we ate with the car parked in these cute shady stops.

Sometimes the drive does get monotonous as long stretches of seemingly never-ending roads lie ahead. Post lunch the mood was low, everyone was tired and I was concerned for the lone driver, my husband. We made conversation discussing sundry things and my older one’s school schedules. We had enough music to last the journey but we found ourselves playing the same CD again and again. Arguments ensued and settlements were made. By evening everyone was in a better mood.

Closer to Hubli we found an amazing structure with several giant statues flanking it. From a distance the statues looked like Mahavira, but it could have also been Buddha. Further down, it began to rain. The weather cooled off after the horrible afternoon heat.

By 5.30 we hit Hubli and looked for hotel Naveen, recommended to us by an acquaintance. The day ended with an early dinner followed by a good night’s sleep.

PS :- Hotel Naveen is an old hotel. The rooms are just about okay and if all you need is a good nights sleep and a clean loo, this place should be just fine. For a longer halt, look for something better. We did see some good hotels on our way there – that is, if you go by the exteriors. The breakfast at hotel Naveen was sumptuous.

 

Day 2 :-

Our next halt was to be Hassan – an ideal halt after visiting the old temple sites of Belur and Halebidu. Hassan was the seat of power during the reign of the Hoysala dynasty. The giant Gomateswara statue can be seen at Shravanabelagola. A visit to this site would have unfortunately cost us more time, hence we decided to give the place a miss.

We started the day with a good South Indian breakfast of vadas, dosas, idlis, the works…and of course, filter coffee. Lunch probably was far off or maybe not there at all.

From now on we were going off the Highway onto smaller State Roads. Probably this was one of the most scenic drives of the entire trip. The roads were narrow for the most part flanked on either side by gigantic old trees. It being the month of May, the Gulmohur too was in full bloom and there were patches of our route which were breathtakingly beautiful. We passed through some of the most beautiful districts in South India – places like Shimoga and Chikmagalur were indeed lovely. When the boys spotted a flock of ducks, we halted. But the place turned out to be too dirty. So we watched the ducks, took some pictures of them and then drove off. A little further on we took a short halt and had a fruit juice break. For my better-half though it was a Red Bull break. We reached Belur around 2 PM.

Now the Belur and Halebidu temple complexes are South India’s answer to the Khajuraho temples of the North. The stone carvings are spectacular and apparently there are some explicit forms too a la Kamasutra. We opted to look around without a guide. Both these complexes are not too large but it is filled with detailed carvings. Whereas Belur was in a quieter part of town, Halebidu  was a little more crowded and in a typical touristy dirty noisy street corner. The latter is slightly smaller but as spectacular.

By evening, we arrived at our next stop for the day…hotel Ashhok, Hassan that is at a convenient distance from the two tourist attractions. This nice town is similar to many such towns in the south of India and elsewhere.

An early dinner and we were off to bed. We were just hours away from the most looked forward part of the journey.

*Hotel Ashhok – A very basic clean hotel, our room was rather small, that too with four people in it. The staff is courteous and food was good.

A God with two big ears, a trunk and a tale – Part 2

A God with two big ears, a trunk and a tale – Part 2.